Blog Post #100 of LFE. Now you get to learn about the author. Everything I typed below is true and I meant every word of it.
1. I was a self-proclaimed bachelor until my nephew Benjamin was born…he was so cute that it melted my heart and changed my mind. (Everyone else always knew I was going to get married and be a dad, I didn’t get the memo)
2. I’m not a fan of swimming in the ocean. I believe that I should be the dominant predator in my habitat which is why I love Michigan - lakes that look like oceans.
3. I’m a huge fan of old black and white movies. In the college dorms some people thought I actually owned a B&W television since it was always tuned to AMC. At he age of 21 I was the oldest student on the floor and they called me "Grandpa". I felt like I was in Logan's Run.
4. I used to twist balloon animals at bars for free drinks. Now I twist them because I love to create and challenge myself. It’s also the only artistic talent I’ve got so I’m going to show it off as much as possible.
5. I believe in servant leadership and that I’m coaching and training everyone for their next job.
6. The day my Grandma passed away was one of the saddest experiences in my life. As I type I’m tearing up just thinking about it.
7. The happiest moment in my life is a tie between realizing that I found the love of my life K. or the birth of my daughter D.
8. While I was taught to be skeptical about things in life I try to continually be the optimist. I would rather lead a happy life with some disappointments than wonder when things are going to go wrong. When I was six Santa brought me an air hockey game for Christmas. It was months before I could truly enjoy it because I thought he made a mistake and was going to repo it. There was no way I was that good that year.
9. I don't call my friends often enough and tell them how much they mean to me. I just hope they know. I do lurk around their FB profiles and sometimes I convince myself that I've spoken with them recently. I would consider myself a stalker except that I've been to all their weddings...and yes I was invited.
10. I really have great parents, everyone says it, I say it, it’s true. I hope that I can make them proud by taking the best that is them and adding it to myself. NOTE: I married an almagamation of my mom and my grandmother which gets us back to Fact 7
11. In my 2nd year of college I decided that I was going to enlist in the marines and change my name to Trenton Hardcore Fury. My mom cried so I didn’t do it.
12. My moms tears are my kryptonite. I will change my mind 180 degrees if she sheds a tear. It’s true..my wife knows it and now so do you.
13. I love my dog Otis. I mean I really really love him. Growing up I couldn’t have a dog because my sister was “supposedly allergic”. When she went to college I asked if we could get one…mom said that my sister would come home sometimes so no. I asked “Does she have to come back?” Otis was worth the wait. NOTE: My sister got married, moved to Arizona and got a dog…allergic my ass!
14. I made a Halloween costume for a company party that consisted of a brown furry felt pull over (I looked like a caveman) with a matching mask and yellow puff balls glued haphazardly on it (see pic on left). If someone asked what I was I would tell them that the yellow was actually corn….think about it…I’m brown with corn….. They created a new costume category on the spot called most disgusting and I won $50.00. My sister-in-law sold the costume for $1.00 at a garage sale 5 years later.
15. I like to fly but I have to pee 6 times before boarding the plane. I like to think my subconcious wants to reduce the planes weight as much as possible to ensure a safe takeoff.
16. Pretzels and orange juice are still my comfort food. When I was little we would have family gatherings and my mom didn’t want everyone giving me junk food so she pinned a note to me that said people could feed me “Pretzels and OJ”. I've been hooked ever since.
17. I've been to Disney between Christams and New Years (twice) and would rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon than go back during that time. If you're a polite male with no kids, you give your seat to every woman and child around. You stand on the bus, you stand while you eat, you stand in line...you might get to sit when you go to the bathroom but that's it. I was popping painkillers every night and stretching the arches of my feet every morning.
18. I’m a B movie fan. I love terrible movies…especially horror and sci-fi (not syfy). Back when I was single I would rent 7 movies and watch them back to back and then try and remember the plot lines. I would eventually create my own movie in my head not remembering most of the real plots.
19. My friend Joe held me by my legs while I leaned into a liquid nitrogen vapor phase freezer and scooped out rat brain tissue wrapped in aluminum foil with the strainer from an old “FryDaddy”. I remembered not to breath the -150 vapor but forgot that my eyes were composed mostly of liquid. I blew the capillaries in my eyes and they were bloodshot for several days. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Hopefully I will never top this
20. I got a lock picking kit for my birthday from my nephews one year. I’m very good however this makes some people nervous. These same people ask for my help when they are locked out of their office or homes. NOTE: Never mention this during the job interview….BTW: I still got the job.
21. The greatest honor ever bestowed upon me was by the staff at Asterand. I had been working many hours on a huge project and in appreciation for this, one of the workers suggested collecting money to send my wife K. and I out to a nice dinner. They collected so much money it turned into 2 round trip tickets + hotel to Chicago for the weekend with tickets to see the Blue Man Group. My wife helped schedule everything behind my back. She’s sneakier than I thought…See Fact 7 and Fact 10 for why I love her.
22. I’m a hugger…get used to it or stay out of my circle *smile*
23. I patented the use of a scented pen for advertising purposes with my brother and we created a company called Scented Pens to sell it. In reality I just wanted a pen that smells like coffee so I could smell coffee all day at work. Who knew we would turn around and license it to other suppliers.
24. In one of my job performance reviews the manager realized that he had to say at least one thing that I needed to improve so he picked “terrible handwriting”. This made me realize how important performance reviews are in helping people better themselves. See fact 5. It also made me work on my penmanship.
25. I know I’m good at what I do and when asked directly about myself I tell the truth. My friend Catherine says I’m the nicest arrogant person she knows. I like this comment…especially because she‘s a Republican.
26. I go to the mall sometimes to watch people. It’s a great reminder that we all have different beliefs, tastes and styles. There’s no way I would wear my pants down to my knees and show off my underwear as a fashion statement…but it’s nice to know that we can agree to disagree.
27. When I’m at a place where they play the national anthem I get a little choked up. I love this country…I don’t agree with everything we individually do or say…but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.